New York Pt 2

I have a very bad habit of not blogging as much as I want to as I think that some things simply do not merit blogging about, but maybe they do. New York was fantastic. Everything I expected it to be as usual. I shopped till I dropped. Made a note of all the latest designer bags, bought the ones I could afford and mentally tagged the ones I couldn’t afford and headed down to Canal street market, home of the designer knock off bags. I am sorry but I just can’t resist the place. It’s like a huge Aladdin’s cave filled with colourful sparkly jingly rubbish but if you dig hard and deeply enough -into the various back street caverns and cars you get dragged into - (your stomach in your mouth I must say), you come up with some amazingly real bags, everything as it should be, down to the lining and certificate.

I don’t know how my bag and shoe obsession quite came about but its a habit I like to feed and though I have some real high end bags I just can't justify having to pay thousands of pounds for all of them especially as some of them are only in fashion for five minutes. But really, it’s ridiculous some of them I have never even carried, but hey I like beautiful things across the board, from art to furniture to good china and glassware. I don’t think I am alone in this and maybe its just part of being female. Besides it doesn’t matter how much you weigh - bags and shoes always fit:->

The best part of the trip apart from having oga with me was the Colour Purple. I remember when I first looked on line the tickets were pretty pricey so we decided to go to a discount ticket booth on the day of the show for some cut price tickets. We timed it to get there about half an hour earlier so we could be first in line at the booth but we soon discovered everyone else had the same idea and the queue was 2 blocks long. With a heavy heart we decided to go to the theatre and pay full price and justified it as a worthy expense. I kissed oga and left him to work his magic as I ran back to Macys to continue my shopping (God I sound so shallow but I have to buy up everything I can as I just remind myself I am not going back to England after this trip. Instead I’ll be going back home to Lagos where walking into a shop fully stocked with everything you need at a reasonable is just not an option and I'm running out of unmentionables at the minute and I'll be damned if I’m going to Tejuosho market to try them on over my t-shirt as all my Igbo brothers leer at me (whilst at the same time trying to sell me material).

I get back from Macys some four hours later to find oga tucked up in bed watching a football match and enjoying his down time as he should be, but how far with the tickets now? You know I really want to see that show! eh? .. You should have thought of that before you ran off to Macys, he replied without looking up from the tube. Haba honey look at the pretty things I bought for you now I responded (actually they were for me but you get the drift). Anyway he kept me wondering and stressing for half an hour before he whipped the tickets out of his pocket with a flourish. That’s my man. I was over the moon. Now this would be a really memorable trip.

As we arrived at the theatre we saw the same people that were queuing up in the afternoon to buy tickets from the discount booth now queuing for the show. Oga said he did not know what the wahala was about as he had gotten the tickets from the theatre for $29.00! I wanted to see the show so badly I didn’t mind sitting in the rafters but to my amazement we had the best seats in the house in the front row. It was so close I could see the hairs on Chaka’s arms as she belted out songs from the play, which was incredibly soul warming and moving and made you think how easily you can waste your gift of life by thinking you couldn’t amount to much but even then God is faithful and can bring you out of very bad situations with great reward. This show is a definite one to see when in New York.(Just heard that it is actually going to close this month due to lack of ticket sales. Can you believe it?)

We left on a high but decided we couldn’t take in another humongous meal at a restaurant, so decided to go into a deli type shop opposite our hotel that we had noticed. I wished we had gone to a restuarant immediately we opened the door. I had never seen so much food under one roof in my whole life, there was a sandwich bar, a dessert bar, a cheese bar, a seafood bar, Chinese, Japanese and American food then there was the breakfast bar with every type of breakfast you can imagine including fruit and twenty different kinds of muffins. And surrounding all that were boxes and boxes of cereals, drinks, milk - lo fat, high fat, no fat, slow fat, chocolates, packets of biscuits... I could go on. Now by this time I was beginning to feel a tad sick and a bit disoriented (IT REMINDED ME OF THE MACYS SHOE FLOORS. IT WAS JUST TOO MUCH. SENSORY OVERLOAD.

I can't remember what oga got but I left with an apple and went upstairs to our room incredibly hungry, made a very bad cup of American tea, had my apple and decided to put on an impromptu Victoria’s Secret fashion show for oga (the only way to distract him from football) to show him what one can purchase in a four hour shop at Macys. Needless to say he was distracted. Oh the joy. I can’t wait to go again.

Should I stay or should I go?

I have been invited to be a guest presenter and agony aunt of sorts on Unilag FM 103.1 at 9pm tonight. The hot topic of discussion is "How to weather the storm of an affair in your relationship".

I am not sure if I am fully qualified give advice on this subject, but I will do the best I can based on my own perspective. I suppose the big question will be "should I stay or should I go?. How does one determine this though? Does time invested in the relationship count towards giving it another go? Does being married and maybe having children involved put you under pressure to recommit to a relationship with a person you want to trust but just cannot? As opposed to being single and dating where you can use your get out of jail free card? I wonder though can anyone truly be monogamous for the rest of their lives, once in a committed relationship?.Does an affair just mean sexual indiscretion or could it be unfaithfulness to our partners as soon as we start committing time and energy on communicating in an inappropriate manner with someone other than our partner. Questions.Questions and even more questions.


What I do know is that it takes discipline and hard work to maintain a strong,trusting,respectful and sound relationship. Human beings are programmed to want and need love on a continuous basis we are also programmed to seek for attention and affirmation not only from our partners but also the rest of society and these needs need to be addressed on a continuous basis.

I believe that if our partners stray we need to accept some degree of responsibility not just because we may not have fulfilled our partners needs, but because we have not fulfilled our own. We need to take responsibility for drawing people into our lives that do not belong, that were never our portion, were not what God intended for us and who we simply do not deserve.

It should be an interesting evening.Please join me if you can.

New york Here I come

I have been invited to present an award at the Future Nigerian Awards on sunday,an event which holds yearly to give kudos to all the innovative youth that have made impact in Nigeria it looks to be a great event.with heavy weights such as Ngozi Okonjo Iweala world bank MD and various ministers and first ladies it will be a sight to behold I'm sure.I am also looking forward to seeing one of the nominees, Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie hopefully receiving an award for 'young person of the year', and I will be unashamedly chasing her for an autograph as I am a huge fan. I enjoyed 'Half Of A Yellow Sun' even more than 'Purple Hibiscus' I suppose being from Igbo land made me more sensitive to the topics she was dealing with.

Monday morning I am off to New york for the week and I am counting the hours to getting on the plane.I am desperately hoping the flight entertainment will be showing Will Smiths 'I am Legend'.I am a complete sciFi freak ! not to talk of horror movies it doesn't matter how bad they are I'll sit through them to the end.I love plane journeys as you are forced to do nothing (unless you have the kids with you) but meditate and watch an unseemly amount of TV.Tuesday will be an insane amount of shopping at the mall for everyone that is associated with this family, Naija Stylie,even the driver must get a shirt ohh!!,then I am going to see the 'Colour Purple' on Broadway one of my unfulfilled ambitions and do a few comedy clubs.I will also go for a walk in central park, as it is a beautiful space full of hidden adventures, and try not to get mugged.Then there is the food, Americans know how to do food and I will eat to my fill with no guilt attached as I will be walking everywhere!
so on that joyful note I will blog off for the week and let you all in on my adventures when I get back.

Good years

And a Happy new year it is,I pray that 2008 matches all the expectations we have of it as we go about our daily lives trying to live better, be better and achieve all of the resolutions we have set for ourselves.

I have never been good at keeping new year resolutions so have given up on setting them for myself,but I do try to give myself targets to follow for the year.One that wasn't on my to do list is to have a stab at remixing Taxi driver a song I released as a young teenager almost two decades ago. To my constant surprise it is still played on the radio and requested to be played on the radio! it seems to be a well loved song plus I have had my blog friends amongst other people telling me to give it a go, here's me thinking my pop-star days were long over.

So with an open heart I gave Cobhams a ring on Saturday (he is one of the most prolific Nigerian producers around today)I had the privilege of meeting him a few months ago at the Muson Centre where Keji Hamilton was showcasing his new afrobeat record. So I asked him if he remembered the song and to my surprise he began to reconstruct drum,bass and chorus lines to me over the phone,and he sounded very excited about working on such a project.We are hoping to meet up sometime this month our schedules permitting.I mentioned to a blog friend the other day that I might not be brave enough to embark on such an adventure and then I reread one of my mother's poems.

Good Years
Bring back the happiness I once knew,
Find again times to look forward to.
search for pleasure I once felt within,
Return all that was mine,
Life again will begin.


Wind back the new years,
Rebear the old,
Turn back the new thoughts,
The old thoughts enfold.

Darken today's eyes,
Give light to past years.
Bring back bygone joys,
set death on new fears.

Dry up the tears shed for every new day,
Bring back the good years forever to stay.

Made me think..

Soundcity red carpet.

My good friend Denrel invited me to attend the recent Soundcity bash held in the Oceanview compound in VI. On the red carpet I was greeted by his Royal Highness himself dressed as fab as always in a plethora of clothes that made him look like Andre 2007 of Outcast( the picture does it no justice but keep an eye out for the programme to get the full effect). I have never seen so many stylish well dressed beautiful young people in one place. It has never been more official. Nigerians have serious style going on. And as we discussed the merits of my dress done by kfa fashions (me thinking I could have done with something a tad more trendy and young lol) Ruggedman drove up the red carpet in his new 4x4 and screeched to a halt in front of us. You see here in Nigeria we dont just walk onto the red carpet we drive onto it.

I have never been more proud of how far we have come in the entertainment business. I almost passed out with joy as I watched the MTV awards and saw Dbanj receive his award. Nigerian musicians are really beginning to be recognised not just here (I have observed our music is being brought to the forefront at the clubs with the likes of beyonce and co rarely getting played) but as stars with International merit. I almost wished I was ten years younger and could unearth my black spandex mini(as you know eighties clothes are back in fashion!) and bust some dance moves(do these young people still say that?) but I didn't want to break anything. I will save my move busting for me and my age mates at La Casa.

Crosstown Traffic

I look forward with some trepidation to XMAS in Lagos. My first xmas in 20yrs. It actually doesn't feel very Xmassy at all. The few decorations scattered round town by the various banks look hot, dusty and tired and the faces of the masses look all of the above plus vaguely desperate. I am also getting stopped at every check point and being asked "madam how far for xmas now?". Some of them I am just driving past when they flag me down cos I just cant be bothered to stop. I dare them to chase me down in my 4x4 for me then to utter that famous old sentence "do you know who I am?" and for them to look disconcerted, confused and a little apprehensive then just wave me off in case I am somebody or know somebody anyway. Try it, it works.

I'm off looking for turkeys and xmas puddings and I am determined to put on a good lunch for family and friends (at last count 30+ people oh) no matter what it takes. This means sitting in hours and hours of traffic along with my fellow country men and women looking for many different items in many different shops. Gosh how I wish for my local one stop shop - Sainsburys. Aisle after aisle after aisle. Sorry where was I?

By the way, when is everybody leaving town anyway? I thought Lagos was supposed to empty out over xmas with people returning back to the village to their second homes,and their second set of cars and househelp. I wish they would hurry up and leave already. I beg this town is over subscribed. At least let us that stay behind exhale during this holiday period, as we drive around Lagos with the wind in our hair,(erm down the lekki express way we would probably need face masks).When are they going to finish that road anyway? I'm not sure how much more road expansion we can take oh.

Maybe small bad belle dey do me. I wish I could retire to my second house in the village, except I don't have one (small technicality!!) unless you count my father's house. Ohh to wake up in Asaba early in the morning and take a walk round the compound inhaling the cool harmattan air whilst picking fresh hibiscus for my mother's vases and watching the river Niger flow languorously by. These were my xmases as a child and I miss them so. I thought about bringing up the topic of spending some of the holiday period in Asaba to oga, but my parents are not going until after xmas and they have already asked me to try to get them a police escort so they can go and come back in peace!. Needless to say sadly I don't think Toks will feel confident letting us go.

Tis the season to be giving and remembering who was born. My kids have been reminding me on a daily basis, which is nice, by singing xmas carols everywhere albeit not very correctly "While shepards wash their sheep by nite all seated on the ground an angel of the lord came down and heaven all fell round". We plan on visiting the local motherless babies home to give gifts to the orphans. We are trying to have a one present xmas this year and stay focused on what xmas means as opposed to getting tons of stuff that is mostly meaningless junk. Besides,in my experience, after opening the third present my younger ones just switch off and start playing with the wrapping paper.I know its going to be a beautiful day thank you Jesus.

Land of The Free? Or at least less expensive?

I am seriously considering going to America in January to do a big shop,things are so expensive out here especially kids stuff.My daughter was one of the dancers in her xmas school play and the dance teacher at the last minute decided that she wants everyone in black shorts and tights,I mean tights!! In this heat? Where are you supposed to get those from? Anyway I did a brief search and then gave up and focused on getting the black shorts which I thought would cost me at the top end N2,000 (yes I am still a JJC).

On reaching the only shop I could find on such short notice in Lekki the lady promptly told me they were available and as she began to rummage through her Aladdin's cave of spandex tops and trousers I perused around the shoe section stocked with frightfully colored shoes imported from China (you know the type you would only wear once before the heels fell off) and had a bit of a laugh trying them on. I eventually spotted a pair of slippers that were ok to do the school run in only to be told they were the equivalent of £60.00! I them mumbled that they were way past my pocket and handed them back fast thinking, I could get two pairs of leather shoes for that price in England or America.

As the sales lady called me back to the front of the shop to look at the shorts I knew I was going to be in for a rude shock, I gulped as she told me the sorry pair of cheap looking shorts were N4,800. "I mean come on" I said "these are not worth that!" She replied, "ahh madam the thing wey we dey go through to get these things". I suppose she had a good excuse and I wish they would lift the ban on importation as things are still coming in, but most of the stuff is a load of expensive rubbish. And oh whats up with the copious amounts of spandex materials in all the boutiques? Isn't it too hot to wear? Or is it just me?

So America here I come. I hear there are direct flights to Atlanta via Delta airlines which I am about to explore. I can't wait to get my trainers on and walk round the super-sized malls, inhaling the smells of freshly cooked pretzels and grabbing designer bargains off the TJ Maxx rails before sliding into Macy's department store to be enveloped in wafts of perfume,fabrics delicious to the touch and shoes! shoes! shoes!I have never done Atlanta though and not sure whether to rent a car or use their transport system any advice would be appreciated.

One day I hope we will get to a stage where this trip will be more local? With all the money in this country how come we still only have two (ok maybe three) half decent malls in the whole of Lagos. I am sure the people of Lekki Phase 1 alone could make a mall financially viable and profitable?